right now
coasting on the current
On the 31st day I wake up.
Reminded that not too long ago,
my life had revolved around
what could happen if my loved ones lost theirs.
It was an overwhelm that taught me everything—
and brought me closer to what’s here.
It was a hopelessness which proved a greater gift
than I could have grasped at the time.
A few months later here I am,
another self in a sea of versions,
my multi-frenic nature
comforted and vindicated by
my peers and professors.
Just a few weeks ago I had
lost my voice, only to find it
after dropping the mind-numbing
vices I had thought I was using—
they were using me.
I’m excited to announce
I now travel equanimous
and enlightened!
I’m just kidding, but there is
an innocence and awe to
life’s force that has allowed me
to, what was the word I once
despised?–ahh, yes!
coast.
I haven’t written very
much poetry, simply because I
haven’t felt the need. Notice, not
the urge, want, or longing,
the need is what has gone missing.
For the first time in many years,
I am not chronicling my life
in a dailyish method in which to keep
my story congruent, my narrative
under my control.
In the past I have
blogged, podcasted, spoken
vlogged, tiktoked, poetry-ed
(there’s the poet coming back
with his made-up words!),
and what a delight it has been.
With that noted, I want to take a
moment to bask in the sunshine
for a while, without analysis.
I want to proceed living without needing a
poem to provide pretense for the present.
mmm, that was poetic
I have reached
a flow in which being is
an overflowing of love and
bliss, in which everything
I’ve asked for, or rather,
needed, has already arived.
And this faith alone seems to
be enough. Enough for this
contentment to not feel like
complacency. For coasting on
to not feel like copping out.
These are among the
happiest of days I’ve ever
had the opportunity to be with.
And right now,
I want to be with them.