The following is an excerpt from a text message exchange I had with a friend.
Ariv: Just watched this Black Mirror episode. “Hang the DJ.” All about love and soul mate[s] and escaping the simulation and taking control of what you want — basically feeling, knowing, and deciding.
All abstract concepts … [a bit of] a marble cake. Everything is abstract.
Started going down a life rabbit hole.
You ever about to go to sleep and you feel this hopelessness, this empty feeling, this pit in your stomach — you want to talk to someone about it but you don’t know who to talk about?
Friend: Type shit yeah.
A: I guess that’s why relationships become a thing as you get older.
The definition of “close friend” narrows in scope, and the desire for a constant confidant increases.
That’s one angle to look @ it.
The other is “bro it’s not that deep, just go to sleep already”.
[Jan 5, 2023; 12:55 AM]
F: Yeah LOL.
A: The brain is cool that way — thoughts and analysis can go on infinitely — there’s no good answer for when it should stop either.
[I] guess that’s where faith comes in.
Truth equals feeling plus faith.
F: I think faith is important for sure. Explain that [real quick].
A: There’s no true truth in the sense that there’s no one with all the answers who created everything who will give you all the answers by snail mail.
Truth is what you feel is true (derived from experience or gut intuition) plus a bit of faith to tip it over the edge.
F: Bro literally I had this thought about truth the other day too … if you never have faith you can't make that jump.
A: Right! But faith is another one of those abstract things, like love or Will Smith’s hand — it can take on multiple forms and mean multiple things for multiple people.
Its multiplicity and shapeshifting nature is what makes it so difficult for us to grasp.
What does faith mean? How will I know I have it? Is my definition [of faith] even true?
This makes truth-seekers work.
It helps them dig themselves into a hole of sorts.
If one can never have full faith in their faith — in other words, know if their faith is “true” — the mystery of absolute truth, the Truth, stays unsolved.
Even Scooby Do can’t figure this one out.
Maybe the destination is the revelation that there is no end to the journey; in fact the adventure is the answer itself.
F: That's why I think you need to be delusional in this life to be fulfilled
A: Or conversely, to be fulfilled in this life you must realize reaching “maximum fulfillment” is not possible because a sustained maximum becomes normal after a while (for this generation, that while is as long as their dwindling attention span).
F: Whatever peak you reach becomes the new bottom.
For example: Me hitting 155 was the strongest I've ever been in my entire life.
But it'll also be the weakest I'll be for the foreseeable future.
A: Yeah man; today’s peak is the latest plateau
F: Idk, too much thinking will kill me.
A: I feel you.
And these were just two. There are so many more angles left to be discovered.
I find it exciting but after a while exhausting … ignorance really is bliss.
Not just ignorance, but conscious ignorance.
conscious ignorance (v.) — the state ignoring big hairy audacious truths (BHATs) in order to maintain peace and overall sanity.
After toying with this phrase for the last few days, I’m proud to say this is incredibly difficult to do.
After deciding not to have the above conversation with my friend on FaceTime in order to flush all these thoughts out of my mind onto digital paper, I managed to swat away a BHAT or two, but I’m nowhere near expelling them.
And I don’t believe my intention is to completely consciously ignore.
I enjoy pondering philosophical truths, or rather, pretending to find philosophical Truths. But after a while of pondering, insanity starts to creep in, or rather, I grow incredibly quiet and monk-like, renouncing all worldly desires and pledging to live a life of balance and peace.
It’s probably something in between the two.
But it’s hard to know that one can never really Know.
Or maybe I’m getting things twisted.
Maybe there is a capital T Truth. A magical heal-all. A universal solution.
I guess I’ll never Know.